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What are the craziest excuses you made in college that your professor believed?

I once told a professor I was hospitalized for a heart attack of my intestines and was out for a few days recovering from this from work, followed two weeks later colonscopy landing back it the hospital, asko missing work and unable to manually stay caught up with this course. I then told the idiot I got the swine flu a month later and was sick for 3 weeks but only missed two days of actual work.

What about you guys?
Uh....Ive got nothing after that...